Megan Boyle

excerpt from 'selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee'


i want to own a warehouse that stores all the empty dolphin tanks and cigarette butts of the world

i want to make eye contact with a stranger and say ‘fuck’ in a way that makes them feel like i’ve caught them doing something shameful

i want my legs to be 50 feet long and i want to step on things and say ‘oops’ very sarcastically

i want to interrupt a game of magic the gathering by busting through a wall on a motorcycle

i want to delete everything from someone’s computer except a giant ms paint picture of a dick that takes forever to load

i want to spill $75 in dimes on a linoleum floor and watch someone closely as they pick them up

i want to fall backwards into a pit of bioluminescent pokémon

i want to hang a piñata full of emotionally damaged lobsters between a high school and a pond

i want to stand in a room so crowded that no one can move without touching each other and i want everyone to fall asleep at the same time

i want to pull very long, multi-colored strings out of my brain and place them next to a bowl of doritos at a party


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